Working Mother: Work-Life Balance Tips & Advice for Moms
Today, women's place in working life is increasing day by day. Some of them work for economic necessity, others their ideal and desire. With this significant increase in working women, an important concept has entered our lives, the “working mother.” While business life and motherhood are two complex issues that bring essential responsibilities on their own, taking them together and trying to strike a balance between them sometimes causes the work to become inextricable.
Being a Working Mom
In addition to the feelings of independence and trust that work brings, and a grounded stance, negative emotions and issues such as feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and the search for a babysitter, especially for women who are mothers, because they cannot spend time with their children, come with it. Studies show that more than half of working mothers share these feelings and concerns.
Can I Take Care of My Child Enough?
“I am working, I cannot take care of my child the way I wanted,” “Can I take care of my child enough?” are the biggest concerns of working mothers that they express to themselves about their children. The basis of this questioning lies in the change of the conventional order. In other words, while there was a system where mothers do not work and take care of their children at home, now mothers are working and spend much less time with their children than before. This pushes working mothers to question their relationships with their children.
Like everyone else who works, working mothers have to spend most of the day away from home and their children. This naturally shortens the time spent with the child. However, spending less time does not mean that the child is not cared for or cannot be taken care of. If it is tried to enjoy even the slightest moment spent together if something is shared and a bond based on love and trust has been established between the mother and the child, why should these be insufficient? It is essential to enjoy being together in those moments spent together. If a working mother shows adequate and necessary care and love for her child, takes care of her, meets her needs, and most importantly, establishes a bond with her child, there will be no obstacle to the child's development and establishing a real relationship with his mother. The important thing is to be able to realize these situations.
Advice for Working Mothers
- First of all, you should be comfortable and confident about the person you entrust your child to while you are at work.
- The important thing is not to spend 24 hours with your child, but that your time is valuable for your relationship and your child. However, at this stage, sometimes spending quality time can be misunderstood. Spending quality time does not mean that you teach your child something that you teach him. Those moments and hours when you bond with your child and strengthen your relationship are real quality time. The feeling of trust you will give him, the feeling of "I am loved,” is much more valuable than anything he can learn at school.
- Don't act out of the guilt that comes with being a working mom. Saying okay to whatever your child wants, getting everything they want, or not setting limits is compensation, not a favor you do for them; on the contrary, it is a behavior that will have difficulties in the future and will negatively affect them. Don't try to show them that you love them by saying yes to everything.
- Let your child know that no matter what, he can reach you whenever he needs it. This assurance is the basis of the messages you want to give him; you are valuable and important to me. He needs to know that you are always there for him, even if you are not always there.
- If you can't spend time with your child when you come home because you have housework or other stuff to take care of, involve him in your work or chat with him while you do your job. For example, you can ask your child for age-appropriate help while preparing a meal so that you can spend time together. While ironing, talk to your child about how their day was going and what excites them.
- Have a routine to spend time with your child. These could be family events involving your spouse. For example, movie day, game time, travel/holiday.
- Do not be afraid to seek help from your spouse and other family members when you need it.
- When you establish a healthy, loving, and trusting relationship with your child, remind yourself that your working life, being a working mother, and the length of time you spend together does not matter much.
- Remember that you are a good role model for both your boys and girls as a working mom. You are an excellent example for your children with your hardworking, responsible, independent stance that carries out many tasks simultaneously.
- Accept that you can't always keep up with everything, that you can't do everything perfectly. Do not ignore the fact that you are human.
- Do not neglect yourself when you are in a hurry to try to be enough and please everyone. Don't forget to take time for yourself and make yourself happy. Remember that you can be good to your child as long as you are well.